Can you share a bit about your family and your child’s diagnosis?

I come from a service-class family. My father was Joint Director of Health in the Uttar Pradesh government, and my father-in-law was a Judge. I had the opportunity to study at premier educational institutes. I attended Loreto Convent, Lucknow, for schooling and graduated from Lady Shri Ram College for Women, Delhi University. I later pursued an LL.B from Campus Law Centre, Delhi University, followed by a postgraduate degree in law. I’m UGC NET qualified and have worked as Section-in-Charge in the Legal/HR department of a PSU bank. I also pursued Bachelor of Education once my child was identified on the autism spectrum, which helped me better understand his needs.

What were your initial reactions to the diagnosis of your child as being on the autism spectrum, and how did you notice early signs?

When my child turned 2.5 years old, I noticed two main issues: first, he had preferences for either gooey or crunchy food, and second, there was a slight speech delay at the pre-nursery level. This was discussed with the school and a paediatrician. Initially, the speech delay resolved itself but later developed into a language delay. However, that too is now behind us. I mention this because parents of children aged 2-5 need to hear success stories. While there’s still a difference of opinion about the diagnosis, we consider our child gifted, highly intelligent, and likely on the high-functioning part of the autism spectrum. Fixed routines and fixations have been central to our journey.

How has your daily routine changed since the diagnosis?

My routine didn’t change drastically after the diagnosis because I was already addressing the issues before any label was given. I did a lot of self-study and consulted with professionals. With my father being a doctor, he also provided valuable advice. Caring for a child on the autism spectrum often means adapting every part of your daily routine to meet their needs, and mindfulness has been key to maintaining balance.

What challenges have you faced, and what therapies have helped your child?

Social communication challenges span a wide spectrum, and each child is unique. Our main challenges were speech/language delay and difficulty participating in group Q&A at school, though one-on-one interactions were excellent. Another significant issue was food fussiness, which affected early nutrition. Society’s lack of awareness about special needs, especially autism, is an ongoing hurdle. A major challenge is the lack of empathy from parents of neurotypical children, who often don’t teach their kids that neurodivergent kids can be their friends. This exclusion, sometimes even from relatives, only deepens the divide.

Who supports you (family, friends, professionals), and how?

It’s rare to find people who truly understand special needs. More often than not, we are on our own. Raising a child on the autism spectrum requires resilience, acceptance, and self-education. Acceptance is the foundation, and everything else can be built upon that, with the hope and knowledge gained from self-study.

How has your child’s school experience and support been?

By God’s grace, we enrolled our child in a school that truly cares for all its students. As he grew and clarity emerged, the school’s support increased. The class teachers and special education teachers work together seamlessly, and the staff is affectionate and caring. Their understanding of children on the autism spectrum has been instrumental in fostering his academic growth and social confidence.

How does your child interact with peers, and what activities does your child enjoy?

My child loves being around other children. While solitary play is common in social communication disorders, my child is very affectionate toward kids and enjoys playing with balls, clay, and other props with peers. Group activities, while sometimes challenging, help children on the autism spectrum build confidence over time.

What advice do you have for new parents of children with special needs?

Educate yourself–there’s no substitute for self-study. Ignore societal criticism and focus on your child’s well-being. Trust qualified professionals, but be wary of unqualified individuals. Have faith in yourself and let go of things you can’t control. Autism is not something to “fix,” but with the right approach, children can thrive and lead fulfilling lives. Choose your battles wisely, and remember, your calmness will benefit your child.

Can you share a proud moment with your child and your hopes for their future?

At age 3, my gifted child could recite multiplication tables. At age 6, he is able to do mental division, understand prime numbers, and even work with basic factorization, basic geometry angles, and the Fibonacci sequence. Like many children on the autism spectrum, he has unique abilities and passions. My hope is to support him in achieving whatever he desires, without pushing him into a rat race. Happiness comes first.